Andrei Gavrilov December 30, 2017
Tips of music homeopathy. Completed and expanded 2018.
If you understood the music – you understood life.
If you understand Chopin – you have become an extraordinarily subtle psychologist and human. Take care of your nerves. Dress warmer up and keep your feet dry. No diets! Let yourself have everything. Keep an eye on healthy nutrition. Be sure to do the gym. Do not become miserable by longing for yourself in the motherland if you are in emigration. Homeland It won’t help. You either. Less eroticism and voluptuousness in thoughts and in life will make you more chipper and much healthier. All this will allow you to enjoy life in a much greater way.
If you like Brahms – you have a long time to work on yourself, your character and taste. Don’t eat goulash. Avoid visiting Germany and Hungary. Keep your diet. Don’t eat sweets and fat.
If you like Wagner’s music – urgently go to a therapist. Don’t watch movies containing scenes of violence and shocking graphic images.
Fell in love with another Richard? Don’t forget about Nuremberg .
If you are Beethoven-ist – explore time vegetarianism. If you can’t live without meat, at least avoid meat with blood. Take care of the ballet, take care of the physical and spiritual flexibility and don’t speak German for a couple of years. Don’t drink beer. Do not grieve for the imperfection of peace and man. Try to relate to problems with humor. Light romantic adventures are highly recommended.
If you’re fixated on Brookner – take a vacation and spend it somewhere in the dunes by the ocean.
Handel – don’t accept too much. Get away from the jousting novels and don’t play historical computer games.
If you like Tchaikovsky too much – the tragedies are insurmountable – hope and wishes won’t solve the 19-th century’s prejudice or the problems there. And don’t imitate the bad ideas or the self destructive narratives – never feel sorry for yourself. This ends with the 6th symphony and the following trouble with the author.
If you liked Gershwin and Bernstein it is a very dangerous symptom. You’re stuck at the age of sophomore from the bad neighborhood. You have problems with empathy. You urgently have to learn, preferably in Europe. Start to learn the basics of culture.
Saint Saens lovers should refrain from visiting the variety, circuses, Cabaret and other entertaining related to the themes of Toulouse Lautrec. There are dangerous infections that are being treated hard in our time.
Like Mendelsson? Well, it’s one way street to the dead end. With poor sentimental entertainment at the end of the day. Try to step back and see real life in all it’s richness.
If you dip in Rachmaninoff – valium will help you. Reduce alcohol consumption. Don’t watch a lot of cartoons. Try to get out of the age of “eternal schoolboy” and forget the first love. The real one is still waiting for you ahead.
If you are completely captured by Grieg – clench and try to go to the fifth grade of the gymnasium.
Lovers of Sviridov’s music have to leave the RF immediately and live in Europe.
Avoid a lot of Scarlatti, Rameau ,Pergolesi, and other masters of ornamental baroque. Leads to a very rapid aging, dementia and Asperger’s syndrome.
Avoid Mussorgsky in the territory of the RF. Such greatness of mind and spirit in the RF ends with loneliness, self-destruction and alcohol death.
Don’t be interested in Spanish composers. You can listen to them when you haven’t been resting for a long time in Spain, when you are heavily drawn to a bullfight, or in your country was bad cold weather with snow and rain. The abuse of Spanish music leads to the Mediterranean simplicity of feeling and intelligence. Losing the depth of the perception of life.
If you are led by Shostakovich – try not to think about politics and Russians, and do not engage in sm activity. Do not be involved in the study of totalitarianism.
If, suddenly, you have become an avid lover of Mahler – faster pass the transition age and stop indulging in the homosexual themes of Visconti. Don’t tire yourself too much, love memories of childhood, adolescence and early youth. Appreciate the current moment. Every age is beautiful in its own way. Remember – childishness is harmful and dangerous in everything and always.
If you, besides Mozart, don’t need anyone – you have fallen into childhood.
Lovers of Caesar Franc’s music need to master the organ and play at leisure in the provincial church. This will help easily realize the problems and aspirations of your subconscious.
Haydn will help strengthen the psyche if you suffer from night terrors. A good remedy from an excess of sensitivity, and experience caused by the availability of too thin intelligence.
If you have gone to Schubert – take care of fitness and physical health. Go to the pool. Avoid loneliness. Try to fall in love.Visit many fun parties. (“partying”).
Schumann will never hurt you. Fairy Tales are useful for health at any age.
Lizst :add to the diet in very moderate quantities, otherwise completely lose the taste. Avoid the society of empty people. Try to think and read serious literature. Try less talk.
Ravel is good as spice. Not harmful to health.
Avoid Czech composers. From them, there is a blood transfusion and a softening of bones. If you hit the influence of Smetana, Dvorak – in small doses it’s not dangerous. But make sure to add to your diet spices, salt, and good aged alcohol. Avoid Yogurt. Actually, avoid dairy products and cheap sweets. Exclude Oatmeal and all cereals for breakfast. Use less freshwater fish.
If you fell in love with Debussy – beware of the contamination of eroticism obsession influencing the rhythm of the heart and life.
Listening to Karl Orff , remember that “Carmina Burana” is the favorite essay of Goebbels. The diagnosis is not consolation, you have to understand it yourself and take decisive action to change your psyche and the picture of the world.
If you get carried away by a new Vienna school, Schtockhauzen or Cage – nothing will help you anymore. Only Shima and monastery for the rest of life. In life you will not come back.
If you are greatly led by Stravinsky – fall in love immediately. It will save you from eternal cold of the soul.
If you fell in love with Scriabin – stop accepting all products containing caffeine. Nicotine and alcohol are strictly contraindicated. Take a break from sex In a boarding house on the lake, or at the sea. Accept soothing baths. More walk in the fresh air. Avoid unruly erotic fantasies.
Rimsky- Korsakov, Borodin, Balakirev ? This is through group Peredviznik and all the Aivazovskys straight leads to Dougin and Glazyev. . Be vigilant. Think of them as an ornament on a fluffy carpet. Without heart.
Fans of Messiaen preferably pass again training in elementary school. Regularly visit a therapist with a goal, at least, a partial cure for psychological autism, artistic blindness and mental infantilism.
Fans of Khachaturian, Babadzhanian and Tariverdiev have to live in the countries of European culture. Italy, Germany, France, Sweden, especially England very well and quickly cure the diseases of the Soviet provinces with a pronounced national character.
If you like Schnitke and you listen to Goubaiddoulina and Pyart , you don’t come out of the USSR, try to seriously deal with the problems of taste and aesthetics. Need to work on yourself thoroughly to leave forever from the world of Soviet pseudointellectual vulgarity.
If you are led by Bartok, this is very dangerous, try to cure it with red wine. More sex and passionate novels. Don’t hesitate. Be warm and open. Don’t over-dry your inner world, it’s very dangerous for life.
Frank Zappa’s lovers need to finish the craft schools and other colleges and try to become an intelligent settled and developed person.
Take Prokofiev in moderate doses as a life-making a of graphics in painting. Don’t forget he’s doing everything coldly and calculated. Don’t take him seriously. It’s a high-class entertainment. With a rare exception.
If you love pop – don’t be sad. Childhood will pass, sooner or later you will become mature. If you are more than 45-50 and you still love pop – then it’s a disturbing symptom.
If you love jazz and it satisfies you in full – no trouble, so you don’t have psychological depth and sophistication. You can live quite happily and without them. Everyone has their joys. It is not necessary for everyone to be deep psychologists and thinkers.
If you listen to jazz pianists and they satisfy your need for piano music, it’s a dangerous ” flat soul ” syndrome and intelligence, ” one dimension” Psyche. Self-development in the refinement of taste and intelligence will help you through this dangerous period of underdeveloped personality.
Fans of Britten and other english composers should avoid raw and cold climate.Be more in the sun, by the warm sea. Drink more red wine, there’s a good Mediterranean Kitchen. Trust your heart more than to cold analysis. The disease of English culture is very and very impoverishes life.
If you are fascinated by the Italian opera – from Verdi to Puccini with all the Bellini – change the way of life. Don’t go to markets for 5 years. Do Math, Polyphony and languages. Don’t rest in Italy and stop eating spaghetti with red wine. Italian cuisine is forbidden for a few years. Go to a good college in absentia for the philosophical branch. Take a vow of silence, at least for a year.
If you’re a fan of ballet and yet, still, not gay, don’t be alarmed. Ballet is a good earthly enjoyment of the body under music, for any sexual orientation and age. Also, there is quite a decent music there, which is also beneficial to your body and soul.
Bach accept daily, in moderate doses and in any state of health.